SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
