I cockslap morals
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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