So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
