Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Someone came in the potted fern
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
