Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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