I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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