who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just threw up on my dentist
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
