we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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