I have demons in me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
