so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
