I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
