I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
