My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
