I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
