WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
