He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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