You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
