I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
