I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
