since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
