i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You're like the curious george of whores
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
