apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
