she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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