Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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