Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
