FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
