big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
