You just made me feel so damn special
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
