I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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