Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
