Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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