woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
