i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
