lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
