I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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