Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
