Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
