The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
