I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
