i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
