You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
