just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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