Jerry, you need to find god
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
