I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
