Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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