Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
