There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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