Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
