i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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