wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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